Bad video game quotes, the 999 edition!
Feb. 21st, 2011 11:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rubyprismLast night, Ayulsa and I finished our playthrough of 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors. The game got perfect 10 reviews from a lot of sites, and deserves much praise; aside from a few big plotholes, the story is wonderful. I completely enjoyed this game-- I couldn't put it down until I'd completed it with all endings. And I highly recommend it, with only the warning that it has very gory descriptions. But the translators... well... they think they can write much better than they can. Execrable purple prose.
So, since this was my second full all-ending run of the game, I was prepared this time with pen and notebook to write down some of thebest worst quotes out of context. Some of it one has to experience in context of the game oneself, especially the sheer repetition, stating of the obvious, and lengthy metaphors incompatible with the situation. Not to mention the frequent comparing of gross corpses to food items. But then, there are phrases like these.
"The speaker went silent, and did not speak again."
(Yes, silence does imply that.)
"'Clover... are you all right?' The prince-- Snake's voice sounded oddly concerned."
(Someone's holding a knife to this person's throat. How is it odd that he's concerned?)
"The squeal of tortured metal made Junpei's teeth curl."
(Made... what?)
"He didn't give her a chance to say no. He put his hand on her shoulder, as if to shove her into the ground like a tentpole, turned, and walked toward the end of the divider."
(A tentpole. How... affectionate of him, towards the girl he likes.)
"The proper term was 'catwalk', Junpei thought, althought that didn't seem important."
(If it's not important, then either call it a catwalk in the narration or don't bother to tell us.)
"Yes, Junpei thought, his mind slowly returning. She had been killed. Someone had killed her."
(Indeed, that is the implication of having been killed.)
"A long, thin slit ran along the bottom of it. As he looked harder, he realised it was more of a slot than a slit, and that it was clearly meant to accommodate some electrical device."
(More of a slot than a slit. So call it a slot. asfjdklf.)
"On the left was a single short hallway that terminated almost immediately at a thick iron wall. Junpei doubted the wall could be moved."
(What kind of hallway were they envisioning?)
"She shook her head violently, and grabbed fistfulls [sic] of her own hair. Junpei could hear the sound of hair tearing."
(He has awesome hearing, if that's the thing he noticed.)
"Ace, slightly slower by virtue of his advanced age, had finally caught up to Junpei."
(Inability to keep up is a virtue?)
"There was a metal plaque bolted above the door. It read [Operating Room]. If it was to be believed, the room on the other side of the door was an [operating room]."
(I wasted how many seconds of my life watching that second sentence scroll...)
"Slowly she approached the operating table and looked, as intently as possible, from as far away as possible, at the thing."
(If she approached, then she wasn't as far away as possible.)
"Snake turned and looked at him."
(No. This character is blind.)
So, since this was my second full all-ending run of the game, I was prepared this time with pen and notebook to write down some of the
"The speaker went silent, and did not speak again."
(Yes, silence does imply that.)
"'Clover... are you all right?' The prince-- Snake's voice sounded oddly concerned."
(Someone's holding a knife to this person's throat. How is it odd that he's concerned?)
"The squeal of tortured metal made Junpei's teeth curl."
(Made... what?)
"He didn't give her a chance to say no. He put his hand on her shoulder, as if to shove her into the ground like a tentpole, turned, and walked toward the end of the divider."
(A tentpole. How... affectionate of him, towards the girl he likes.)
"The proper term was 'catwalk', Junpei thought, althought that didn't seem important."
(If it's not important, then either call it a catwalk in the narration or don't bother to tell us.)
"Yes, Junpei thought, his mind slowly returning. She had been killed. Someone had killed her."
(Indeed, that is the implication of having been killed.)
"A long, thin slit ran along the bottom of it. As he looked harder, he realised it was more of a slot than a slit, and that it was clearly meant to accommodate some electrical device."
(More of a slot than a slit. So call it a slot. asfjdklf.)
"On the left was a single short hallway that terminated almost immediately at a thick iron wall. Junpei doubted the wall could be moved."
(What kind of hallway were they envisioning?)
"She shook her head violently, and grabbed fistfulls [sic] of her own hair. Junpei could hear the sound of hair tearing."
(He has awesome hearing, if that's the thing he noticed.)
"Ace, slightly slower by virtue of his advanced age, had finally caught up to Junpei."
(Inability to keep up is a virtue?)
"There was a metal plaque bolted above the door. It read [Operating Room]. If it was to be believed, the room on the other side of the door was an [operating room]."
(I wasted how many seconds of my life watching that second sentence scroll...)
"Slowly she approached the operating table and looked, as intently as possible, from as far away as possible, at the thing."
(If she approached, then she wasn't as far away as possible.)
"Snake turned and looked at him."
(No. This character is blind.)
